Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
