Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
