Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
