i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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