Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
