um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You ruined the universe
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
