you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
