you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
