You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
