Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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