Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
