Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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