I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
