it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
