Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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