i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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