My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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