Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
