You're so nebulous sometimes
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
