We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
