I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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