3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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