It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
