You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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