i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
