Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
