Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
