so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
