me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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