we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
