TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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