Screwed.edu
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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