It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
