If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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