Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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