wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
