I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
