do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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