HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
