the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Boobs speak an international language.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
