is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
