She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i came on her dog
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
