Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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