He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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