so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Welp...herpes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
