I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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