Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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