Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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