he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
