Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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