Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
